Spirituality plays a complex and evolving role in my life. I’ve come to realize that people often need something greater than themselves to believe in, a concept I initially dismissed during my college years. My wake-up call came when I failed the only class I ever did: Theology. I didn’t take it seriously and underestimated the final exam, leading to a failure that forced me to retake the course. This second chance forced me to read the materials seriously and rethink my perspectives.
One of the biggest obstacles in my journey towards the Catholic faith has been the contradictions I perceive in religious texts. For instance, if God’s love is truly unconditional, why does the concept of hell exist? This and other inconsistencies made me skeptical about the effectiveness of prayer and the teachings of the Catholic Church. I firmly believe that hard work, not prayer, is what brings about tangible results in life.
However, I do acknowledge a higher power or a creator. The intricate complexity and order of the universe suggest to me that there must be some form of intelligent design behind it all. It seems improbable that such an orderly system arose purely by chance. Doubt, I’ve learned, is a natural part of spiritual exploration. As my theology professor said, “Don’t be afraid to question or to doubt your faith but also, don’t be afraid to believe in something or someone. Sometimes, it’s what will keep you together in times of brokenness and chaos.”
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